agepecoffee

My very learned friends, women of power, diligence, talent and favour, i come to you in anguish..Seeking answers to the question that has been making me fast, a question that has been nagging at the back of my head during the entire presidential debate yesterday, a question that has made me the favorite Safaricom sensation as i purchase data packages worth more than 50 tops in Ngara and at least 10 pairs of Mitumba heels from Toi market. I have searched for answers from all search engines, tried every recipe and hacks without success.. Is there a town witchdoctor that ye women of poise go to see every 3:00am when am busy being chased by flying ghosts in my dreams?
Men, are you in on this witchcraft too? Are there secret educational barazas that you attend to learn the art so you can help your women achieve this special skill? What time do you go? Whom do i have to kill/ talk to or pay up for my man to be part of the baraza? I'm willing to do anything to he part of the chosen few.. Or is there a mantra that you help your women recite every morning as they dress? Am good at reciting, i promise.. I promise to be a loud, dedicated and blind reciter if that's what it takes.. I see these women walk past me in town or sit next to me in buses and gawk at them shamelessly. Full of envy and admiration.. I want to ask but when i open my mouth, it feels dry,so dry i can't even manage a whisper. So i stare, i pray that the same miracle happening in their lives will befall my house as i dress up the following morning, but Alas! Nothing! The other day, i woke up exactly 1 hr before time hoping that maybe this sort of art/ miracles happen to people who do not procrastinate. I ended up getting to work 2 hrs late with patches of colourless cutex on my thighs and shoes.. wedding apparels specially for women over 40
So, tell me ye men who are fortune enough to understand this art, ye ladies of character, master manipulators of texture, and garment whisperers; which cult do i have to join to wear those very light, gorgeous and very vulnerable stockings without running them or tearing them into space pieces in the process? These stockings make ones legs be anything they wanna be.. They give them tan, color, and this very smooth look, that qualifies them to audition for the most dynamic leg make up of the year. These stockings are life fam! Am tired of being left out, tired of showing up to functions looking like i hang my stockings on barbed wire, tired of envying, tired of being broke after buying a stock of colorless cutex to apply on those runs, tired of being online overnight searching for tutorials on how to wear stockings.. To all those other girls struggling with stockings every morning, you are welcome. To those men always wondering why their women are always in torn stockings that they insist are new, you are welcome too.
Sigh*** coming out felt good!